Thinking about why we Americans have a hard time dealing with death, grief, despair, disappointment and sadness - we try to avoid it at all costs. We even put on a facade like everything is OK. I give it this analogy:
We're strolling along in life. Life is good. Family, the job, relationships, health -all is good and THEN, Katrina stikes!!! What do we do now? The pieces of life are scattered about and our path is forever changed. Relationships we once had are not there anymore. Why is that? I mean, don't get me wrong we are still cordial to one another but those relationships, that intimacy that we once shared has been damaged.
Many relationships are built around hobbies, work, going to the same church, interests, clubs, sporting events etc and not fully on eternal things. When those things are stripped away as in my case it reveals what the relationships were really built on. Time has proven to me that many people(myself included prior to ALS) are too busy with their hobbies, work, interests, sporting events, church activities which are all really good things and important but from somebody who is handicapped and not able to do those things anymore, you feel left out and abandoned and even forgotten about at times.
Some people have a hard time knowing what to do or say because they have a hard time dealing with despair, disapointment, sadness, grief, and death. A friend of mine once said that maybe its like they are mourning the loss of you, even though you have not died. So they are keeping you at a distance so they won't hurt even more when you actually do pass. How sad.
Maybe some people feel like I am not approachable now. I want to appologize if I have every made anyone feel that way, I hope people dont take it personally. There are a lot of adjustments that come now with living with a terminal disease. If you're reading this and we shared life together, know that I valued that time that our paths crossed. Its ok to talk about "the disease" or even "death". I know it is not a favorite subject of many people, but when I think about death and dying I think about spending eternity with God my father and Jesus in their infinite glory and holiness. There is no sadness or grief in heaven. There is no despair or anxiety, everything is perfect and as God planned.
When I leave this earth, my hope is that I have made a lasting mark on society, that people would remember me for the legacy that I have left behind. That people would say "yeah that Eric Fox guy, he sure loved Jesus. He was the real deal." That if our paths did cross, that you would have pleasant memories of our time together. But until that time God has me busy doing his good work, sharing my testimony and sharing the good news with all that will listen. I will be doing that until I take my last breath on this earth. "I want to run the race in such a way as to win the prize for which Jesus Christ has called me heavenwardly" so that when I get to the end and see Jesus face to face he will say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
Thanks for listening to me banter on. Whatever reason God had me write this hopefully it helps you understand how I'm feeling.
Eric
My Favorite Music
Monday, August 17, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
A proud little girl! Look Dad... two wheels!
We have not had much time to ride bikes in the last two years and Maddie was riding with her friends down the street and she realized she was the only girl with training wheels and she could not keep up with the other girls. This made her sad and it kind of broke my heart too. We have never worked with her to learn to ride her bike without training wheels. I started looking for a decent bike for her and found a good used Schwinn bike for her on Tuesday. Then I thought how do I teach her how to ride this? Eric taught Zach to ride his two wheeler when we were camping. I remember because he rode right off the road right into a tree! We started working on it last night in the grass and with me running beside her on the sidewalk way out of breath! She wanted to try it again this afternoon and then just a little while ago she wanted to try again. We padded up and went on the street. Eric said to hold the back of her seat so I tried that and let her go and off she went! She was smiling from ear to ear! I was so proud of her. It was a monumental moment for her! We went to get dad and Zach and the cameras which were all dead batteries! I was able to get a two second video before my batteries died! She was so excited to show her daddy she could ride her bike all by herself! It was a good day!
We have been doing pretty well lately. We will try to update soon!
SAVE THE DATE.... ALS Walk on Saturday October 10th. More info to follow! Hope you can join team Fox Trotters this year! Have a good week!
Lori
We have been doing pretty well lately. We will try to update soon!
SAVE THE DATE.... ALS Walk on Saturday October 10th. More info to follow! Hope you can join team Fox Trotters this year! Have a good week!
Lori
Friday, August 7, 2009
Letters by Zach Fox
Below are two letters written by my son, the first one is when he was in fifth grade and the second is in sixth grade, last year.
We are so proud of Zach, his writting is very deep for a twelve year old. As you can imagine he went through a lot of emotions, as you can tell from his writtings.
Fear of Death
06/04/08
Imgine a strong, faithful man with a loving family. Now picture that same man with a fatal disease called ALS who can't use his arms or legs practically at all. This isn't just a story, it's the truth. Can you guess who this man is? Yes, he's my dad.
It all started when my dad couldn't button his shirt one Sunday morning. Now he still has a family, but needs them every minute of the day to help him with everyday things like dressing him, shaving him, giving him showers, feeding him and helping him get up from sitting down. I've had some doubts that were all answered, but one still sticks tightly in my head and heart. Is my dad going to die? It keeps bouncing in my head and I can't help but cry untill I can't cry any more. I'm so confused, but yet it's so clear that it's a life or death situation.
I almost have no way to help him except pray and hope God wil cure my dad and thousands of others. Right now, there is hope that they will find a cure because I don't want to NOT have a daddy. Losing my dad would be like getting shot in the gut. I would still be alive, but I would wish I wasn't. For me, I would do anything, anything, anything to keep my dad alive, and see his joyful sunshine on his face. Let's anticipate that they will find a cure for ALS for thousands of others who have ALS as well.
Zach Fox
5th grade
Be Happy
06/03/09
Many people don't know that our family has been going through tough times since my dad has ALS. I think it's important to know that poeple can still be happy no matter how tough times are. For instance, my dad always has a good attitude while dealing with his disease. Another reason is my mom is still really helpful to our whole family and others. Also, my sister is so happy even though she is so young to have her own dad get a terrible, breath taking disease called ALS. Finnally, although I have to live with the fact that my dad could die in a couple of years it has tuaght me the responsibility to be the man of the house and to treasure life.
My dad still has a positive attitude while living with ALS. For example, I asked my dad a question, "How do you not get down at not being able to do the things you used to do?" He answered, "I focus on the things I can do, that God has given me the ability to encourage others. My faith helps sustain me. Somedays are better than others." Also my dad's favorite quotes are, "Don't worry, be happy!" and "Its all good!" These sayings help us laugh and forget what we were currently sad about.
Another reason is, even though there are 8,000 new cases of ALS patients per year in the U.S. and 30,000 present cases today, people can still choose to live their life for the better and be happy like we have done or just wait untill it's time to die. Hopefully most all of us, even the people who don't have a disease will choose to be happy.
My mom is really helpful to our family because although her husband has a terminal disease, she still works hard to run our family. For example, I asked my mom this question, "How are you so mentally strong even though you are going through this tough time?" She answered, "God gives me the strength to get through the tough times. People are praying for our family. My comitment to dad when we got married is a vow that I wont break." Also, she loves him very much. I can't believe that my mom is so happy and strong even though the unthinkable happened. The things she does for us is way more than any mom should do. Now my mom does tons of things for our family. She cooks delicious meals that make my mouth water. She takes care of my dad's daily needs because he is unable to himself. She stays strong by her amazing faith in God who gives her strength to live each day. She helps me with my homework when I give up because I think there is no way I could finish the humungus stack in front of me. She handles situations way better that I could ever think of even trying to do. She is my super mom.
It's hard to believe that my sister can be so happy even though our whole family is going through tough times. For example, my sister loves to make up new games. Like one day she walked up to me and excitedly said, "Hey Zach, I have a good idea for a game we can play." "What is it?" I asked back. Her smile was growing every second. "You pull me across the floor on a blanket and see how fast I can go," she replied. "I do what?" I asked enthusiastically. She repeated what she said again and I just did what she said. She laughed and screamed with glee when I shot her across the living room's wooden floor. I'll never forget that day when she made me forget about my dad's illness and have fun like we used to. Also, my sister is such a good encourager. My sister makes up fun games and plays them with the whole family. My sister is very sincere and loving when someone is really sad or down. My sister makes us laugh when we could be crying. My sister sometimes gets on all of our last straws, but most of all, my sister is my sister and that means the whole world to me. Yes, I love my sister and I wouldn't rather have any other sister in the whole world but her because she brings me up when I'm down about something. She helps me be happy through the tough times.
Even though its hard to live with the fact that my dad has ALS , I have gained a lot of responsibility. I was eleven my dad hollered, "Zach." He was upstairs watching TV and needed help. I was down stairs in the basment playing with legos and watching TV at the same time. "Coming!" I shouted back. I bolted upstairs to see what my dad needed. "Hey, can you get me a glass of water?" my dad asked. He of course looked desperate for a drink of water. "Sure," I said getting him a glass of water. "Thanks Zach" my dad replied the second after he took a sip from the clear glass cup. "Your welcome!" I exclaimed. I always feel realy good about myself when I do something nice for my dad.
Recently I surveyed the class if they would cry if they found out their dad had a fatal disease and was given 2-5 years to live. One hundred percent of the class said they would cry, of course. I cried when I found out, I cried alot. But God wants me to rejoice in it because I know where he's going and I'll be there to meet him someday. I realize that when I am happy, I feel like I can enjoy life more. Clearly people can still be happy no matter how tough times are because if our whole family can still be happy through our tough times, others can choose to be happy as well. It's your choice to be happy or sad or mad, make it a good one.
Zach Fox
sixth grade
We are so proud of Zach, his writting is very deep for a twelve year old. As you can imagine he went through a lot of emotions, as you can tell from his writtings.
Fear of Death
06/04/08
Imgine a strong, faithful man with a loving family. Now picture that same man with a fatal disease called ALS who can't use his arms or legs practically at all. This isn't just a story, it's the truth. Can you guess who this man is? Yes, he's my dad.
It all started when my dad couldn't button his shirt one Sunday morning. Now he still has a family, but needs them every minute of the day to help him with everyday things like dressing him, shaving him, giving him showers, feeding him and helping him get up from sitting down. I've had some doubts that were all answered, but one still sticks tightly in my head and heart. Is my dad going to die? It keeps bouncing in my head and I can't help but cry untill I can't cry any more. I'm so confused, but yet it's so clear that it's a life or death situation.
I almost have no way to help him except pray and hope God wil cure my dad and thousands of others. Right now, there is hope that they will find a cure because I don't want to NOT have a daddy. Losing my dad would be like getting shot in the gut. I would still be alive, but I would wish I wasn't. For me, I would do anything, anything, anything to keep my dad alive, and see his joyful sunshine on his face. Let's anticipate that they will find a cure for ALS for thousands of others who have ALS as well.
Zach Fox
5th grade
Be Happy
06/03/09
Many people don't know that our family has been going through tough times since my dad has ALS. I think it's important to know that poeple can still be happy no matter how tough times are. For instance, my dad always has a good attitude while dealing with his disease. Another reason is my mom is still really helpful to our whole family and others. Also, my sister is so happy even though she is so young to have her own dad get a terrible, breath taking disease called ALS. Finnally, although I have to live with the fact that my dad could die in a couple of years it has tuaght me the responsibility to be the man of the house and to treasure life.
My dad still has a positive attitude while living with ALS. For example, I asked my dad a question, "How do you not get down at not being able to do the things you used to do?" He answered, "I focus on the things I can do, that God has given me the ability to encourage others. My faith helps sustain me. Somedays are better than others." Also my dad's favorite quotes are, "Don't worry, be happy!" and "Its all good!" These sayings help us laugh and forget what we were currently sad about.
Another reason is, even though there are 8,000 new cases of ALS patients per year in the U.S. and 30,000 present cases today, people can still choose to live their life for the better and be happy like we have done or just wait untill it's time to die. Hopefully most all of us, even the people who don't have a disease will choose to be happy.
My mom is really helpful to our family because although her husband has a terminal disease, she still works hard to run our family. For example, I asked my mom this question, "How are you so mentally strong even though you are going through this tough time?" She answered, "God gives me the strength to get through the tough times. People are praying for our family. My comitment to dad when we got married is a vow that I wont break." Also, she loves him very much. I can't believe that my mom is so happy and strong even though the unthinkable happened. The things she does for us is way more than any mom should do. Now my mom does tons of things for our family. She cooks delicious meals that make my mouth water. She takes care of my dad's daily needs because he is unable to himself. She stays strong by her amazing faith in God who gives her strength to live each day. She helps me with my homework when I give up because I think there is no way I could finish the humungus stack in front of me. She handles situations way better that I could ever think of even trying to do. She is my super mom.
It's hard to believe that my sister can be so happy even though our whole family is going through tough times. For example, my sister loves to make up new games. Like one day she walked up to me and excitedly said, "Hey Zach, I have a good idea for a game we can play." "What is it?" I asked back. Her smile was growing every second. "You pull me across the floor on a blanket and see how fast I can go," she replied. "I do what?" I asked enthusiastically. She repeated what she said again and I just did what she said. She laughed and screamed with glee when I shot her across the living room's wooden floor. I'll never forget that day when she made me forget about my dad's illness and have fun like we used to. Also, my sister is such a good encourager. My sister makes up fun games and plays them with the whole family. My sister is very sincere and loving when someone is really sad or down. My sister makes us laugh when we could be crying. My sister sometimes gets on all of our last straws, but most of all, my sister is my sister and that means the whole world to me. Yes, I love my sister and I wouldn't rather have any other sister in the whole world but her because she brings me up when I'm down about something. She helps me be happy through the tough times.
Even though its hard to live with the fact that my dad has ALS , I have gained a lot of responsibility. I was eleven my dad hollered, "Zach." He was upstairs watching TV and needed help. I was down stairs in the basment playing with legos and watching TV at the same time. "Coming!" I shouted back. I bolted upstairs to see what my dad needed. "Hey, can you get me a glass of water?" my dad asked. He of course looked desperate for a drink of water. "Sure," I said getting him a glass of water. "Thanks Zach" my dad replied the second after he took a sip from the clear glass cup. "Your welcome!" I exclaimed. I always feel realy good about myself when I do something nice for my dad.
Recently I surveyed the class if they would cry if they found out their dad had a fatal disease and was given 2-5 years to live. One hundred percent of the class said they would cry, of course. I cried when I found out, I cried alot. But God wants me to rejoice in it because I know where he's going and I'll be there to meet him someday. I realize that when I am happy, I feel like I can enjoy life more. Clearly people can still be happy no matter how tough times are because if our whole family can still be happy through our tough times, others can choose to be happy as well. It's your choice to be happy or sad or mad, make it a good one.
Zach Fox
sixth grade
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