A weaker day

It is late, but I wanted to ask you for some prayers for Eric tonight. He has been very fatigued today. This morning was pretty uneventful. Eric and I actually sat down and watched a movie with Maddie per her request. We went to the Born Clinic and then directly to his Deep tissue Phrimmer massage he does once a week. This is supposed to loosen the bloodflow in his body from the inside out. All I know is it helps Eric not feel so tight in his joints so we keep going. He does a full massage about once a month and today was one of them. Bruce who does them said his legs are feeling very tight which was really hard for Eric to hear I know because he is so worried about ALS spreading into his legs. One day a few weeks ago, Eric was laying on the bed in shorts watching the fasiculations shoot down his legs. These are messages your brain is trying to send to the nerves that are hitting a road block so they keep shooting and not connecting (the best way I know to describe it). His arms have done that for so long and I used to get so mad at them as I lay my head on his shoulder and feel them knowing that they are one of the many signs of this disease. Dr Dobson said his neurologist said to him that you could be a "super twitcher" or you could have ALS. We all have mild twitches like this that you may have seen before.
Maddie had her Cheer class at the Y tonight and we had to scramble Eric a ride home from his appt (Thank you Mitch) and after that we hit Logans for their Mon-Tues night special (cheaper than eating at McDonalds and so much better) Eric had an awful time trying to eat tonight and was frustrated but tried to hide it. I just thought to myself how hard this must be daily to not be able to do things for himself like feed himself and I thought I would have a break down daily and just scream! I want to protect our kids so much from seeing how frustrating and debilating this disease is, yet I don't think that will always be possible and I am so grateful on how Eric chooses to handle himself most of the time. I thought tonight that maybe we should just try to do take out when we eat out. I feel like we should have a sign on our table that says to the wait staff and everyone around us that says Eric has ALS so they don't look at him funny when they try to hand him his plate and he doesn't grab it or I cut his meat and feed him.
When I was tucking Maddie in tonight she was talking about going to Kidnergarten and how Zach was almost in Jr High and I said stop growing up!! She said who would take care of her because Daddy will die first and my heart just sank. We have never talked to Maddie about Eric dying from ALS. We have told her very little except that Daddy's hands don't work right. I asked her why she thought that or did someone tell her that and she said I figured it out because his hands don't work right. I talked to Eric about it tonight and he said maybe she is just picking up on conversations we have had as kids are always more perceptive than you know. I just know it breaks our hearts to think of how this is affecting our kids.
Well, enough depressing talk. This must mean that tomorrow will be a good day because we always can come up under what we go through and rise above it again through Christ. We are believing God for a mighty work in Eric and praying daily for his healing. Please continue to lift us up in your prayers and dont' ever feel like you can't share your burdens with us as well. We often hear, I have this problem and then I look at your family and I feel like it is nothing like what you are going through and I should count my blessings. I often wonder what is it they are going through and is anything too small for God? I don't think He wants you to be bogged down with small stuff or be complaining, but He does want us to lift our burdens to Him no matter how small. Let's keep praying for each other and seeking His Kingdom.
In His Grip,
Lori and Eric