ups and downs

Today we had an few appointments and the kids are at Grandma and Grandpa Foxes for a few days. Eric got measured for some A.F.O.'s which help fupport his ankles and legs when walking to give him better stability. He said they felt good and we hope they will keep him on his feet walking as long as he can and safely. I have to admit I have been getting very worried about the way Eric has been walking lately. It has been very unsteady at times and I wish I could walk beside him and be his stability and I am always grabbing his hand thinking that it makes me feel better, yet it makes it harder for him to maintain his balance. We watched the video last night together that he linked on the right side of the blog called ALS is real. It always slaps me into reality when I see the progression of this horrible disease and think that can't possibly happen to Eric, but Eric is experiencing most of the things on this video. When I see him start to change like this, it is very hard to take it in. I know Eric has been having a very hard time with it lately and I can't even begin to put myself in his shoes. He stays very strong and positive for me and the kids and I know that helps us all deal with this disease, but it is so hard for him to always stay positive when his body is deteriorating. Our faith is strong and we believe that God is the ultimate healer and have been praying diligintly for healing. It is so hard to wait on God and to stay strong. We watched a movie tonight called Iron Man and I couldn't help but think how great it would be if we could get one of those suits for Eric that would allow his body to be strong and move around and something to keep his heart beating when his body couldn't and then I thought that is selfish of me. Who are we to take matters into our own hands thinking that we know best. I know there is a time to be born and a time appointed for all of us to die, but that is so hard to imagine when it is someone you love so dearly. Eric is a husband, a father, a son and a geniune friend to so many people so I know you all can understand what I feel. Someone asked me at church how I was doing and I said really good so it must be time for me to have a breakdown soon not knowing exactly when that would be. I usually break down more when I think of the reality of this disease so again I try not to and to focus on each day. I find joy in spending time with Eric and treasure each moment and hope that I can stay strong and supportive for him like he has been doing for me. I don't mean to sound down because He raises us up and I know He will continue to do it, I just wanted to share what we are going through to help you understand and it also helps me relieve some of what we carry. We still need your prayers for healing and to sustain us. Thank you for praying!
God Bless,
Lori